This is how this daughter is grieving the loss of her mother
5 things to help motherless daughters make it through Mother’s Day
When the second Sunday of May rolls around each year, not everyone is busy making plans to do something with or for their moms. Also, they may not also expect or even care if people do something for them on this special day because for this particular group of people this holiday is simply too terrible to bear. Who are we talking about? Motherless daughters.
Grief may get easier with time, but that is not a solid rule. It tends to come in waves and some days will be harder and others will be easier. Unfortunately, after losing a parent, certain days that hold a lot of meaning, i.e. birthdays, memorials, holidays, anniversaries, can really trigger deep feelings associated with grief. For a daughter grieving the loss of her mother, this holiday can be exceptionally hard to deal with.
The deep emotions of a daughter grieving the loss of a mother
Depression. Melancholy. Sadness. Even anger. Rage. All these feelings and many more are typical to deal with during one of these days that were once special between you and your mom. For motherless daughters, these “trigger days” can be especially difficult to deal with and it could go on for a period that lasts much more than just the actual date, but days or weeks before and after the date.
Mother’s Day is one holiday that surely hits home to every motherless daughter. Just the name of the holiday itself is nothing more than a bitter reminder that they do not have a mother to celebrate on that day. But there are some creative, fun, and enlightening, things that you can do to help you get through this time of the year while you maintain your sanity and peace. I personally had memorial jewelry made from the ashes of my mother, which helped me a lot.
If you’re a daughter grieving the loss of mother, here are five things you can do to help get through Mother’s Day:
1. Attend group grief counseling
Before you shut out this idea entirely, listen to the benefits first. Because these feelings can be so intense, grief counseling is highly advised for motherless daughters. When you participate in a group grief counseling setting, you will find that sharing your story and relating to others who have gone through a similar experience of a profound loss can really lift up your spirit and could even help you achieve closure in certain situations.
2. Prioritize self-care
Self-care can mean a variety of different things depending on the individual. A long hot bath. Time to sit alone in silence. Meditation and yoga. Full mani/pedi. No matter what it is that makes you feel well taken care of, pampered even, set some time aside on Mother’s Day to get this in and help you destress during the day and distract you from negative feelings.
3. Reach out to someone else struggling
Do you know other motherless daughters who might be struggling on Mother’s Day? Or perhaps someone who has trouble with fertility and they also struggle on Mother’s Day? Reach out to one of your friends or loved ones who you know has a difficult time on this particular day and spend some time being there for them. Doing so can be very therapeutic for both of you.
A high school friend of mine had a bad argument with her mom which ended in her cutting her out of her life or good. I stopped talking to my friend over the situation because I don’t support her decision to cut off her mother as she is so sad and if she were to die, I know that she would not feel the same way. Anyways, one year on Mother’s Day, I ordered her mom and Edible Arrangement that was delivered to her at work and it made her day and doing so made me feel good. This is just one example of something thoughtful you can do for a friend who you know has a difficult time on Mother’s Day.
4. Donate money to a charity
Is there a certain charity that you donate to in honor of your mother? Many people have created their own charities specifically to help their mothers who are in dire situations. It can make you feel good to donate the money that would have otherwise been spent on a gift to a charity that’s for a cause your mother would have supported. Another way to feel slightly better is to create memorial jewelry.
5. Share her legacy with others who did not know her
If you have children, Mother’s Day can be the perfect opportunity to share stories about your mom. Write down those memories during this process to keep them fresh and at the front of your mind, as this also helps you work through grief.